The Tomb Of Ultimate Randominity
by The Kitsune Warrior
Summary: Sonic and Knuckles go to Egypt...they find a tomb....they go in the Tomb......and Sonic gets scared......Please R&R this.....
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys,….. It's the same story as before, except I have configured it into a Sonic fic…for more popularity. XD

Disclaimer: I don't own sonic and knuckles….they are owned by sega….i do own rokan though!

THE TOMB OF ULTIMATE RANDOMINITY.

"Are you totally sure? I mean, what if it's true?" said Sonic with a slight quiver in his voice.

"Sonic, you've been watching too many horror films, how many times did you watch 'The Mummy'?"

"Only twice, but that's besides the point, look Knuckles, I really think you shouldn't touch that thing, even if is made out of 24 carrot gold!"

"And why not?" said Knuckles in an annoyed tone.

"Ill tell you again, the hieroglyphs on this side of the tomb say: he who moves the sceptre will release the god of ultimate destruction, who will wreak havoc on his tomb and the rest of the world, with his army of the un-dead."

Knuckles looked at Sonic

"And your point is?"

Sonic lost all hope at that point.

"ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE?"

To which Knuckles replied "yes!"

"Ok that's it I give up, you win, take the damn sceptre."

Knuckles looked at Sonic, who was folding his arms and screaming several profanities in random directions.

"Sonic, calm the funk down"

Sonic looked at Knuckles

"Funk?"

"Well I couldn't say the 'real' "F" word, if I did, the author of this story would fail this story writing task and possibly fail his English class altogether."

"Oh…"

Suddenly out of nowhere, a huge voice boomed from above them and echoed around the tomb

"Hurry up and get on with the story"

Sonic and Knuckles looked up extremely confused,

"And who the funk do you think you are then"

The voice boomed back

"I am the author of this damn story, now get on with it."

"Or what?" Sonic called back "your nothing but as disembodied voice, you cant do anything to me"

"Ahh…. That's where you're wrong, you see, I am the author, I have the power to do anything."

Knuckles piped up "prove it then hot shot!"

No sooner than he said that the tomb had disappeared from around them and Sonic and Knuckles were standing in a field covered in beautiful flowers of all sorts of different varieties.

"I'm still not convinced," said Knuckles,

And once again the scenery changed again, this time to a beach. To the left was, the ocean, which was spanning out to the horizon, to the right was a group of beautiful women in very revealing bikinis, doing all sorts of unmentionable things to each other.

Knuckles's jaw dropped, and proceeded to run at full pace towards the women, with his hands outstretched. He was about one metre away from the ladies when, WHAM!

Knuckles had slammed himself into a stone wall. Upon closer inspection, the wall was the wall of the tomb where they were before.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Knuckles yelled as he fell to his knees.

Sonic completely ignored Knuckles, looked up and said to the voice

"Ok we believe you, can you do something to spice up this story, 'cause, its getting kinda boring"

The voice boomed back "you want me to spice up this thing? You got it!"

The tomb started to rumble, and at the far wall, it began to crack open and fall apart, only to reveal a huge beast.

"Well there's your spice, enjoy"

The beast stepped forward and spoke in a low, growling voice

"I am Rokan, the god of ultimate destruction, bow before me or feel my wrath"

Knuckles looked the beast in the eye.

"Make me"

The beast let out an angry cry and several bandaged creatures came out and stood by the beast.

"ATACK THEM" yelled Rokan.

Sonic and Knuckles then proceeded into a montage of beating the crap out of the bandaged creatures. Then they turned to Rokan and went into another montage where they beat the crap out of Rokan, eventually killing him.

Sonic and Knuckles stood on the corpse, triumphantly Knuckles then said to Sonic

" I don't think the author can write very well, Rokan was easy to kill"

Then out of nowhere, a lightning bolt came out of nowhere and struck Sonic and Knuckles, killing them.

THE END.


	2. Chapter 2

I know I said THE END in the last chapter………..but I had a request to make another chapter…….and I've got nothing else to do at the moment…..so ………screw it………why not……..I now present to you……….chapter 2!

Disclaimer: since yuji naka is currently holding a 3-0-3 shotgun to my head as I am writing this I have to say that I don't own sonic and co. the are owned by SEGA. I do however own vixen and rokan. There…ok naka…….you can put the gun down now…..

Chapter 2: Does this really need a title?………how about Narrator's Revenge?

Sonic's and knuckles' body's lay unmoving on top of the carcass of rokan….all three of them were dead………all coz they pissed off the author of the story……no….that's not me………..I'm the narrator………….I tell the story…..not write it………anyway…..all three of them were dead…..and the author is happy……….and the narrator isn't coz I'm getting paid minimum wage to read this crap………..eh……….ok…….we need someone to talk now………….

"HAHAHAHAHAHA……… I have finally killed sonic and knuckles!"

thank god……..I thought I was going to have to act this thing as well as narrate it

"hey you……narrator boy……….SHUT UP!"

if I shut up then the story won't go any where

"well I….."

just get on with the story

"uh….where was I?"

you were laughing

"oh right…..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

"you bastard" a girl's voice yelled from seemingly nowhere "you killed sonic and knuckles!"

the disembodied voice looked around to see vixen, with one of her hands configured to a gattling gun

"what the hell are you doing here?" yelled the author

"what do you mean 'what am I doing here?"

"you're in the wrong story……you're supposed to be in Manic's Ultimate Adventure!"

"well……you're writing this thing" vixen retaliated

"I am?…..oh right…….wait a minute………where's my script gone"

"huh"

"the script for this story…..it's gone!"

"gone…..whaddya mean…gone" yelled vixen

"I had it right in front of me….now it's gone…..somebody stole it!"

"who would steal a story's script?" asked vixen

"wait a minute!…….hey narrator…..did you take my script?"

uh……..no……..and then suddenly………….rokan came back to life……heh heh….

"what the Funk?" yelled vixen as she saw the god of ultimate destruction rise from the dead and let out a huge roar

"whoa…….onion breath" said vixen

"HEY…..Gimme back my script" yelled the disembodied voice of the author as he charged towards me …….he grabbed the script from my hands and began to write something on the script…….suddenly….vixen's hands converted into two very large ion cannons

"right…..now kill rokan, vixen" yelled the author who was still fighting with me over control of the script

vixen charged up her ion cannons……she aimed at rokan and fired at the exact same time that I grabbed the script from the author…the two ion blast turned into impossibly large chunks of leg ham, which was quickly devoured by rokan……………………then………..the author……somehow got hold of the script again……….and for no particular reason……..sonic and knuckles came back too life…….

"what the hell is he doin' here" said knuckles "he was supposed to die in chapter one………..i killed him"

"it's all the narrator's fault…..he's fighting over the script with the author" said vixen…..gimme the script dammit

"what the hell are you doin' here?" asked sonic pointing at vixen "you're in the wrong story!"

"once again……it's the author and narrators fault" said vixen……look….gimme the script now before I punch you in the face

"yeah right…….." said the author "I'd like to see that"

then flying from the side of my non-existent body….my fist flew and slammed the side of the author's non-existent face…..the author's non-existent body fell to the non-existent floor………I then grabbed the script……….and for no reason at all……sonic and knuckles died again……

"what the hell is with you" yelled vixen angrily at me

"and stop narrating me" she yelled again…….

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

then the author regained conscience and………...uh oh…………

"say it"

…………..

"say it"

………..and pulled out a narrator blaster 9000 X ver.2.0………….and fired……….AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"is he dead"

"who said that?"

"and who said that?"

"damn it we need another author"

"hang on…..where's the script……..ah….here we go……"

"I AM OMEGA…..THE ULTIMATE E-SERIES ROBOT"

"omega…….narrate this story"

MISSION ACCEPTED, I SAID

"right…now to bring those two guys back from the dead" SAID THE AUTHOR, AND SUDDENLY FOR REASONS SO ILLOCICALLY ADVANCED, NOT EVEN MY POWERFUL INFOTRON PROCESSOR COULD COMPREHEND, SONIC AND KNUCKLES WERE RESSURECTED ONCE AGAIN

"uhg……dying sucks" SAID SONIC AS HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD

"yeah…..and being resurrected is even worse……man it gives you a massive headache" SAID KNUCKLES RUBBING HIS HEAD.

"god that narrator is funking annoying" SAID VIXEN

"yeah….and he's taking up heaps of space with all his capital letters" SAID KNUCKLES

BY MY CALCULATIONS……….I WILL ONLY TAKE UP APPROXAMATELY 32.761 OF EACH PAGE WITH MY NARRATING

"that's too much" SAID SONIC

"hey author….why don't you be the author?" ASKED VIXEN

"hmm" WONDERED THE AUTHOR "narrate….and…author…..now why didn't I think of that?…………omega…..activate your self destruct mechanism"

SELF DESTRUCTING IN 5…….4……3……2……1

There was a large blast and omega disappeared and now i…..the author….is very happy……coz now I am getting paid to narrate this thing as well……um……..ok…..back to the script…..

"uh now what" asked sonic confused…..

"well……. ….we have just killed rokan again……..and on top of that….we've killed the narrator………we got the replacement narrator to kill himself………and we made the author get double pay………….." said knuckles

"so…."

"LET'S PARTY!" yelled vixen "author……cue the party music"

and by scribbling down on a piece of paper…….a huge sound system complete with DJ appeared out of nowhere and started playing the party boy song….i scribbled on the paper once again…..and the surrounding tomb became a nightclub filled with heaps of people all doing the party boy dance…….I scribbled on the paper once again……and disco lights and mirror balls appeared out of nowhere and attached themselves to the roof. Sonic vixen and knuckles joined in the party boy dance……until vixen's toe got jumped on…..she got real pissed….she configured her hands into huge gattling guns and mowed down everyone in the nightclub………..then for no reason at all….tails appeared in the middle of the dance floor……..and the music changed to the mortal combat theme song……….and ninjas jumped from every conceivable angle and began attacking tails….tails fought back….and with help from vixen….they gave all the ninjas a butt whooping…………then the DJ disappeared along with the huge sound system and was replaced by the bloodhound gang who started playing the Discovery Channel song….tails looked at vixen and smiled………….vixen then kicked tails in the balls for even thinking it………(listen to the song…..then you'll know what I'm on about)……..she then shot all the bloodhound gang…………who fell to the floor and turned into stoats…..which were shot by vixen again………..then again for no particular reason the axle f song played and the crazy frog appeared and started to make that extremely annoying sound that he makes………tails then pulled out a samurai sword out of nowhere and cut the frog's head off……while vixen configured her hands into a rocket launcher blew the frogs body into a million pieces…….

"ok" said tails "this is getting to confusing…..i'm going home……coming vix"

"yeah sure…..this author and narrator is giving me the creeps" replied vixen as she follow tails out of the night club which resembled the scene where kiddo walks out of that Japanese bar with those dead body's behind her in kill bill 1…..which leaves me………..what the hell am I going to do now?……………hmm………what about this?

THE END

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The Kitsune Warrior's Notes:…….my head hurts….im going to bed now


End file.
